A recent conversation I had with a “friend” via Facebook:
Friend – “What’s with all the flower stuff you post all the time?”
Me – “I write a gardening blog.”
Friend – “LOL, Are you serious?”
Me – “Yeah, although it is more like a … landscaping blog.”
Friend – “Oh, like about your lawn and stuff.”
Me – “Um … yeah.”
Friend – “Cool.”
I was annoyed that I had to dumb down the explanation of my blog and make it more “masculine”. It just seemed like an easier way out of the conversation I didn’t want to have in the first place.
It also got me to thinking about the concept of a male actually liking flowers. Let’s face it, there is a stereotype that exists when any man likes flowers. I’ve heard them all; some times very bluntly and other times just implied. And as is the case with almost all stereotypes (and don’t I know living in New Jersey), they are frustratingly naive and an easy way to put people into nice clean boxes.
The truth is, I like this:
As much as I enjoy this:
Why can’t I enjoy both equally without it being questioned? Hell, I have Sade and System of a Down on my Ipod. They each represent different aspects of my personality.
I didn’t know that liking a colorful and fragrant flower made you that much less of a man. After all, is there anything more powerful than watching a plant survive the winter, thrive through it’s ensuing growth of foliage in the spring and then reach it’s peak when the flower blooms in all it’s glory? C’mon now, that is the circle of life at it’s finest. Not to mention, flowers are the result of getting your hands dirty and full of callouses. Pretty masculine if you ask me.
When I took the picture below so it could be used for my Facebook page and for my Twitter avatar, I intentionally set it up to represent me and my varied interests:
The execution of the photo may be off a bit and not so obvious, but that is me (with a god awful cheesy smile by the way) holding a shovel as if it were a baseball bat. With that, I hope that I can bring a unique perspective to garden writing and even help dispel the notion that men can enjoy flowers without it seeming odd or god forbid, even feminine.
Almost everyone I work with has no idea that I write a gardening blog, let alone that I have a strong interest in plants and flowers. I can’t tell you how much fun I have when I do get a chance to spring a little nugget on them out of the blue.
Coworker – “I grow this catmint stuff and it’s beautiful until June and then I want to rip it out.”
Me – “If you cut it back drastically in early June, you’ll get a second flush of bloom and the foliage will look fresh”
Coworker – “What is “flush” and how do YOU know that?”
Me – “I’m cool like that.”
They don’t know whether to take me seriously or not and I couldn’t love it more. Always fun to keep ’em guessing.
So in conclusion:
- I love flowers
- I don’t care what others think about that
- I despise the stereotypes that go with it.
- I need to not smile in pictures any more
ONG
Oh, a lot of dudes absolutely love flowers!! Maybe you need to be hanging out with more of the local locals on both sides of the river. They wouldn’t think it strange at all 🙂
I enjoyed your post. I am a Master Gardener, and there are many male MGs in my county – enjoying flowers and plants is definitely not gender-specific. Absolutely no need to apologize to the clueless.
Blessings, Beth
I have that conversation all the time.. whenever I mention the word “BLOG” they say, “A WHAT?” lol…
Anybody who thinks gardening is “unmanly” (is that a word?) needs to spend some time actually doing some gardening. It’s hard work.
I think most guys are complicated and just don’t want to admit it. (I guess I am anyway- ipod ranges from Sara McLachlan to BB King, to Strung Out, to Megadeth)
Being that I work in the industry, I don’t have the opportunity to spring nuggets of knowledge on unsuspecting victims like you at work. It is fun to not wear my nametag and ambush unsuspecting customers that think I’m just hired help. 🙂
Great blog.
You like flowers?
I bet you pee sitting down too.
By the way, your teeth are way too perfect for my liking. I’m thinking about taking back my friend request.
I think it’s ok you like flowers. Flowers get chicks (or chick in your case). Chicks make a man happy. Win-win. You’re just a smart dude.
Great post. Bravo!
My blog on this topic is scheduled for next week. Thanks for the inspiration.
The best part of this is that the LinkWithin widget is serving up your post about the Jersey Shore, and the picture is of the four shirtless male cast members.
:0)
Robin – I’ve hit up most of the nurseries and native plant sales on both sides of the river and you’re right, there are plenty ‘o dudes there.
Beth – you’re right, I was preaching to the clueless.
Leslie – I’ve come to call it my “diary” for those who don’t get the blog deal. Seems to work.
Plant Geek – you are dead on, gardening is a hell of a workout and the flower is the ultimate reward. BTW, always loved Megadeth myself.
Kyna – peeing sitting down is very underrated. A nice chance to rest, much quieter as it doesn’t wake the kids up in the middle of the night.
Allan – you’re up my man, I’m ready for your take.
I enjoy your post. Will be back for another good laugh. 🙂
Gardening is not for whimps!! My big burly husband enjoys a pretty fragrant flower himself. He digs the big holes and moves the big stuff and I tend to the plants…I think there is something quite sexy about a ‘man’ liking flowers…
PLEASE don’t quit gardening or your blog! You’re an inspiration to other men who can’t face, or admit to, their green desires!
Right on! Larry
That was hilarious. Your smile is great, and it is OK to like flowers:-).
Thank you for coming to my blog.
Mr Brown Thumb – I lost it when I read that. Even worse, had Jersey Shore on when I read your comment.
One – thanks for stopping by!
Darla – Digging in the dirt is the best part.
Rebecca – will never ever quit … guaranteed.
Larry – welcome and btw, your blog is phenomenal!
Masha – welcome and loved your blog as well.
Hi, I know many men (real men) that love flowers….there is nothing wrong with that.
I do many manual jobs in the garden, that would normally be done by the man of the house….does that make me less feminine (I don’t think so)….
We are as we are…..
Some of the people who love flowers the most, that I know, are guys. In fact, the person who got me going on gardening was a guy, my boss! You can read my Why Do I Garden? post on my blog if you’d like. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by and following my blog! I’ll be around here. 😉
Kyna and ONG – In the middle of a 16 hour day at the nursery, sitting down to pee is indeed a nice rest! Hell sometimes I just sit in the bathroom to get away! 😉
Yes, people who are knowledgeable about gardening are the coolest. 🙂 My FIL is like your friend; DH isn’t even the flower gardener but he likes flowers, and my FIL finds that suspicious. I won’t say more because I’ll sound really catty. Anyway, I’m glad DH likes the garden; it’d be a waste if he didn’t!
My grandfather was an avid flower gardener after he retired. I think he really needed some peace and beauty in his life. He’d earned it.
Dear ONG, I feel your pain. For me it’s Why can’t a girl like beer?
Cheryl – well said, well said. And less feminine, um no.
Missy – Will definitely check out that entry, in fact, on my way now. Thanks for reading!
Plant Geek – I hear ya on the rest, although I often can’t get up, have to roll off. That’s a bad visual, huh?
Sweetbay – My GF was my number one inspiration. A tough SOB but loved his roses.
Wiz – Beer should enjoyed by all! A no brainer.
It is only when a man is confident enough in himself to do that which he enjoys regardless of what other men think, that he is truly a man.
Glad you found my blog. You look young enough to be one of my grandsons. So I hope you told your grandma you love her on Valentine’s day.
You are pretty darn funny! And probably spot on! Since I don’t garden (except for a pot or two of a nursery-bought plant and some lantana that manage to survive each year) I don’t have the same obsessive green genes as you, but I do really enjoy your photos and your wit. Thanks for finding my blog!
I’m also a male gardener – though I tend to focus more on vegetables actually. I wonder how the vegetable vs. flower ratio stacks up for male gardeners..
Also, a shameless plug: You should check out a blog I recently started to chronicle my garden growth! [http://watchmygardengrow.tumblr.com].