True confession: I haven’t done one thing in my garden since September 17th. I didn’t plant a single bulb. I didn’t pull one weed. I didn’t snip, clip or tug.
Nothing.
I could easily blame it on my septoplasty surgery on September 18th, and while that is partially true, it isn’t the full story.
I wore the hell out.
I tired of it all.
I didn’t fight to find as much as a minute of gardening time.
This is typical this time of year for us hardcore gardeners. We’ve spent months on end in the dirt, digging and pulling and tweaking. We’ve spent hours planning. We’ve spent more time than that self-loathing because of our gardening failures.
Oh, maybe that’s just me.
We get tired and we wear ourselves out.
But I feel like I’m beyond the normal burnout. I’m physically worn out but even more than that, I’m mentally drained. I’m tired of fighting the deer. I’m tired of the soil never draining. I’m tired of all that I’ve built the past 13 years.
Looking back even further, I didn’t place one online order last fall/winter. I only purchased a handful of plants in total in 2018 and I made only a few trips to my local garden centers.
I’ve threatened to stop this blog a few times since it was introduced back in February of 2010. Each time I took it all back within days. It’s actually comical if you locate those old posts in the archives.
I’m not looking to bring this blog to a close. I’m not even looking to make any major changes. I just needed to voice the fact that I’ve been burned out. When I do that I typically get a jolt of energy.
So I’m selfishly using this post to pump myself up. I’m banking on this to get me back into the plant catalogs and back to shopping once again (cha-ching). And more than anything else, I want to jump back into my favorite gardening task of all: planning.
And I’m going to do that by showing you (and me) all the progress I’ve made over the years. A reminder of where it all started not so long ago. A peek back to the blank canvas and where things have progressed to in the garden’s current state.
So my apologies for my narcissism. My apologies for the following self-congratulations.
I need it and I hope you understand that.
Thank you.
I searched through all of the photo I’ve ever taken and found that I’ve only once snapped a pic of the garden bed directly toward the front of my house. It’s the one below, taken on a cold winter’s day back in 2010.
While the “after” photo that follows it isn’t from the same angle, you can see how things have changed in this spot.
This series is looking from my driveway into the backyard. What was once a stone-filled driveway and a whole lot of nothing, is now a paved basketball court and lots of mature plants.
A super narrow bed was expanded numerous times over the years and filled with lots and lots of perennials.
The wooden planter and raised bed have since fallen apart and none of the plants in the first photo are with us any longer. But hot damn, what an improvement. Even in the quality of the photography. Ha.
That same area of the garden from a different angle. A River Birch was added and lots of perennials and grasses.
Shield your eyes with the blurry first pic. My apologies for the dizzying experience but I needed to give you the first so you can soak in the beauty of the second shot.
The only plants to survive the years are the red Heuchera along the front of the bed. And I’m happy to report that my photo cropping skills have improved over the years. Check out my camera-wielding arm in the shadows.
Another blurry pic, this time of my front walkway. That is followed by the new and improved from both spring and fall. Go me!
I’m most proud of the fact that I never moved the Thuja (Arborvitae) ‘Rheingold’ and the Clethra (Summersweet) ‘Hummingbird’ over the years and I’m happy to see how well they’ve matured; even if they still can’t hide all the piping, the hose and the filthy foundation.
I apparently had no issue taking photos during the height of sunlight in the garden. Another lesson learned over the years. Here’s to more garden bed expansion.
Add more grasses and all will be fine.
Fill it with nothing but plants and there will be no opportunity for weeds to emerge. Oh yeah, and arborvitaes are ugly and do not mature well.
It’s ok. Last year I burned out in December. This year it was October and part of November. The early freeze made me happy because it felt like an excuse to not garden and a blank slate, something I could just cut back and start over with.
Amen Misti! I welcomed my surgery in a way, an excuse to rest and do nothing. Just didn’t expect to not rebound at any point. Time to go dormant for a while. And maybe write a little.
It must be the year for burn out. I have decided not to plant any more veggies for the deer. They ate everything this year (and I do mean everything) except the potatoes. I’m done. I’m putting in a patio next year. And grasses & shrubs around it. I wanted to plant prickly ash to spite the deer, but that was vetoed. See you with renewed enthusiasm for something next year!
Thanks Martha! Knowing we all get burnout, well most of us, helps navigate the ups and downs. And there can be lots of downs but those ups, they’re the best.
Well you may be burnt out on gardening right now, but you sure are good at gardening!
It’s okay to take a rest, to “go dormant” a while; plants do it, why can’t gardeners?
Thank you hb! Love the “go dormant” phrase. So true and so needed.
It’s cool. No prob mate. We all burn out. Get thee some graph paper and get to sketching. Next month. Maybe wait till January.
Hey, and if so inclined readers of his blog, would ya check out mine please? If interested, I would love having more than 20 subscribers, lol. Thanks. Be Well, Do Good.
http://www.be-well-do-good.com
Thanks Chuck! The graphing should start up in January. My favorite part of this gardening thing!
That’s OK, you deserve a break especially after surgery. I was kind of burnt myself, but I moved some of my containered Japanese maples into an unheated garage. Then an order for 150 bulbs from John Scheepers placed during the summer arrived and I was forced to do something with my investment. I am not going to put them in the ground this year (I have enough already), but I have a bunch of pots that are empty. I actually just came in from my garage after filling three of them with tulips and potting soil.
Take the rest of the year off!
Thanks Jerry! The truth is I’ve almost run out of room for any more bulbs. Planted a ton last fall so look forward to year #2 come spring.
First, you’ve done an amazing job and have put a huge amount of effort into the work. That level of interest and effort is never sustainable indefinitely— just like the the winter season, sometimes we just have to burn out and go dormant for a while.
Second, I appreciate the comments about it! I think we all go through this.
Thank you Cheryl! It’s great to see most of us burnout and bounce back with vigor as well.
It happens to everyone, so don’t feel guilty. Once I’ve planted all the fall bulbs and put away the hoses and tools, I take the holidays off and pretty much forget gardening until January, when most of the catalogs arrive. Also, I use the downtime to catch up on reading some of the many great gardening books I don’t have time for during the growing season. Thanks for posting the befores and afters, they’re truly inspiring and demonstrate your constantly increasing skill level and sophistication in terms of gardening, plant selection and photography. Hang in there, I’m sure your burnout will pass!
Thanks so much Robert! I look forward to a hopeful rebirth in January.
I definitely burned out early autumn. I stopped checking the six nurseries I used to regularly visit; I cancelled two online plant orders; I stopped “looking at pictures with flowers” (as my husband says about my internet/books/magazine perusals); and finally, I did the unthinkable-for-me: I walked away from the perennial/shrub dumpster dive at Lowes (with perennial Monrovia Gaura beckoning for $1 each) When the latter occurred, I knew I was done, well done, overly done, stick a fork in me, get a fire extinguisher, burnt-to-a-crisp burned-out. I still had a couple of hundred bulbs to plant . It took me until now, late November, to finally get them in the ground. I am starting to recover, as evidenced by my plant curiosity interests surfacing again. and I think I’ll be back in the game come March. I will have to, I will have 40 seedlings on my doorstep then – unless of course, I cancel that order too…
Wow Marcia, can so relate. The burnout this year feels more substantial than before but I’m hoping the bounce back in spring is even bigger.
Your work is beautiful, outstanding, well designed and inspiring to look at. As a landscape designer myself I see your talent and relate to burnout. I am an Aesthetic pruner and love to be outdoors and live in a mild climate that allows for year round work. When I get sick of sitting at my desk which is more often I enjoy being on site with the crew. After I get worn out especially lately with the smoke in the air I welcome getting back to the desk. I always love going to the wholesale and native nurseries searching for clients’ gardens. It must be rewarding to see all the wildlife attracted to your ever expanding garden. I am going to invest more in photography this Spring to capture new garden installs and have ready for new clients. Your photography is wonderful also I just wanted to see more of your projects. I will be pruning many Maples, shrubs with my crew as soon as the refreshing rain takes a break. Keep on designing you’re too good to stop the pollinators appreciate what you do.
Thanks so much Alison! The wildlife is the ultimate reward for sure. You mentioned “smoke”, assuming you’re in California?
You will be back. No doubt about it. Give it time. I agree with the other posts.
You know it Raymond!
I don’t get burnout, i get distracted by my indoor plants: dining room filled with orchids, living room with African violets and an atrium full of low light loving plants and tree. I am guilty of leaving the gardens unkempt and tell myself the birds will benefit from the mess of perennial litter, seedheads and leaves. I get out every few days when it’s warm to put things away, collect material for compost and finish this n that. I feel guilty that I’m glad the season is over and i only have to do “winter watering” in our dry climate. Gardeners need a rest, too, like someone said.
I’m way jealous Laura! I too keep the garden unkempt partially out of laziness but mostly out of providing cover/food for the critters. Enjoy your non-burnout! Ha.
I can relate, but I’ll confess that I don’t think I’ll relent come spring. I’ve had enough. We went from an abnormally high 84 degrees somewhere around the end of Sept, to 40 degrees the following week and 12.5″ of snow two weeks ago. Much of the fall clean up never got one and a walk to the compost pile showed the deer (well, the buck) had destroyed 2 five year old evergreen (one of which was caged, but not high enough) and stripped the bark from a 10 year old evergreen’s trunk. So I am done. Seriously.
I feel your pain Pat. I think we all need to hibernate for a while in order to recover. How long we all need, who knows? But def need it.
Glad to know others feel the same as I do. I thought it was just because I’m getting old, but you all are so right. Enough Already!
Right there with you Sheri. Definitely not an age thing, it’s a gardening-can-wear-you-down thing.
You are not alone – what enervates us correspondingly drains us – fortunately gardeners are born optimists enabling us to look forward to a better day tomorrow, next month, next spring, meanwhile one day of sunshine can get the burners fired up and the juices flowing again – or alternatively light the fire, pour the whisky and get out the gardening books – have a great Christmas . . .
Thanks so much David! Perfectly stated … especially about the whiskey.
Great to see the before and after pics. Definitely keep them in a book by your favorite chair. Surgery takes a looong time to recover from.
Will do for sure Cathy! They keep me inspired and are the perfect reminder of where it all started.
Be burned out. It’s okay. Let nature take it’s course for a bit. Looking back at your before and afters I would be THRILLED with that. I can’t seem to get plants to spread that are supposed to be ones that mature and spread. I have crappy clay soil, deer, rabbits, more clay soil. Normally I make some improvement to the yard/garden but this year was spent taking care of the person I love the most. Two trips to the ER and me repeating to the 2nd ER Dr THIS IS NOT MY HUSBAND and he IS NOT DEHYDRATED finally lead to finding 90% blockage in two arteries. So fortunate to not be a widow that even though I spent July-Oct doing nothing in my garden I will have my hubs by my side next year to dig back in and work on having the yard of my dreams. Sometimes other things have to take priorities and when you get back to it you will enjoy it more. Look, you have a successful blog, have written books and have a wonderful yard . Your family is good and you will be feeling better next year and will kick your A** in the gardens. Have a wonderful Holiday season.
Wow Julie! So glad to hear he is okay. That is scary and that will put things in perspective, huh? I can assure you I take this “burnout” in stride. I have ZERO complaints about anything. Family>than everything else. Although those friggin deer … have a great holiday and thank you so much for the comments!
I can relate to needing a break but as a fellow NJ-ite, it’ll be hard to resist the rare 65 degree December day on Sunday!
I was thinking the exact same thing! Nice on Saturday too. Hmm.
It’s cool John… everyone has burnouts in whatever their hobbies/careers, etc. Enjoy the Holiday Season with your family, then in January, start visualizing how you’d like to garden come Spring. You should do Google searches on how to deal with pesky deer. Maybe you can fence your property … a white picket fence against areas where deer come in … Maybe design a mini-speaker that is triggered by strings … maybe emits a deep growling sound that will unnerve them? Anyway, take it easy cuz …
After taking a couple of years break from active gardening (just doing bare maintenance and not changing / adding anything) I got back to it this year — and finding your blog has been inspiring to me. I’m already trying a few plants in my garden that I first saw here.
We all go through patches where we feel burnt out–I think fallow periods can be a necessary for people as they are for soil.