I suck at the whole setting and attaining goals deal. Like I’m not sure if I’ve ever actually set one and if I did, I forgot what it was.

True story: The day I met my wife, freshman year in college, I managed to tell her within minutes of meeting that “I have no goals”. Gentleman, try that one on for size and let me know how it plays out. How this woman still agreed to hang with me after that I’ll never know and I won’t be selling my “Blueprint to Meeting and Retaining Your Future Wife” eBook any time soon. There had to have been divine intervention in play or my boyish charm was just too overwhelming to pass up.

Truth is, I have lived the majority of my life for the day or if I’m being generous, for the week. I’m not sure which parent supplied me with this DNA but it is who I have been for as far back as I can remember. I wasn’t one of those kids who would say “When I grow up, I want to …” and I have vivid memories of listening to those goal-oriented SOB’s and thinking, you’re shitting me, right? You can’t possibly be thinking that far ahead. We’re 5 and we’re supposed to be catching lightning bugs and riding our Big Wheels.

I’ve got anecdotes for days.

I was a solid to “good” basketball player in high school (helps when you are 6 foot 3 in a small town with a small pool of players) and probably had potential to be “dang good”. But guess who didn’t train in the off season or hit the weight room to add much needed muscle to his skinny frame? Don’t mess with #21.

I still remember my father offering to make me protein shakes and urging me to practice my jump shot nightly. I chose Wiffleball and Atari instead. I didn’t dream of making the varsity team as a freshman or set my sights on All League honors. I played hard and enjoyed the game during the season but after that I moved on.

The gist of my college entry essay was that I looked forward to discovering my passion while attending school and dedicating myself to it fully. A laser sharp focus with goals to carry it over to a career. I was ready to mature and the collegiate atmosphere would do just that for me.

That laser sharp focus took me from a Journalism major to an unknown major to a Criminal Justice major/Psychology minor to eventually taking the LSAT’s for law school only to never pursue that path and then dabbling in private investigation before settling in the insurance industry where I reside today. A true plan never entered the equation.

Now this mentality does have its advantages:

• It is a lot easier to enjoy the smaller moments in life. Future? Who cares, this apple is delicious.
• Stress levels remain low. There is no formal map to follow and no need to constantly assess where we are on said map.
• You become the rock for others. Aren’t you worried about “blank” or “blank” John? Me, not one iota. I’m living for today, man.

But some serious disadvantages:

• A lot of shit doesn’t get done. What’s the rush or why the urgency, bro?
• The burden of future thinking falls on your significant other. Just ask my wife.
• A true sense of accomplishment. “Wow, I did that” is against all odds is foreign to me.

Now don’t start painting me with the lazy brush or a wanna-be hippie (I’m talking to myself here). I’ve managed to navigate life rather decently to this point. I graduated college, got married and bought a few houses. We pay our bills each month, hold down jobs and we’ve managed to raise some pretty kick ass children along the way in spite of me. It has just been a battle of trying to shed a personality flaw and do my best to become a more goal oriented and future thinking fellow.

And that battle only continues to intensify as I get older.

Since technically, this is a garden blog, I’ll spare you my personal, professional, financial, etc. goal building and goal assessment plan. God bless my wife for setting the foundation on these fronts. It is time for me to step up to the plate but that will be handled on the down low.

But with garden goals, I am an open book or as open as the hole in the middle of my irises that I’ve failed to divide for years now. I’ve been passionate about this blog for over 7 years and even more passionate about my garden beyond that. It is who I am and what I do. And here’s one for you: I’ve got a book in me and it is in the works. That’s a friggin goal and one I will accomplish. I’ve never felt more confident in my life. But that doesn’t mean Johnnie doesn’t still have goal issues in the garden.

Case in point.

This past weekend we were up in Vermont visiting friends and ended up in the inevitable sitting around, enjoying some beverages and let’s get into deep discussion mode. The kind where you ignore the kids who have been on their devices for hours and the kids in turn wonder why adults like sitting around and talking so much. What should have been relatively light discussion ended up getting me all panicky. Not what you are supposed to do on vacation.

Topic #1 was the requisite pie-in-the-sky discussion.

“If you could start any business regardless of finances, location, etc. what would it be?”

To the surprise of exactly no one, I dream of a nursery that not only offers uncommon and interesting plants but also brings you killer coffee in the morning and craft beers from 12:00 on. We talk nothing but plants and gardens and sports while you traverse my grounds. Oodles of native ornamental grasses. There are plant/seed swaps daily and Piet Oudolf makes the occasional guest appearance. I make frequent visits to your home to see how your plants are doing. And maybe pull a few weeds along the way.

Quick aside: There was also a long discussion about an Uber type service for local kids’ activities. A lot of potential here. Please don’t steal this idea. And my wife’s idea is so unique and so solid that I can’t even share it here. It could work and I’m not messing that up.

So back to my potential nursery business. While it was a light conversation among friends, I felt a twinge of uneasiness. Should I at least be doing some level of research into this? If I really feel strongly about it, don’t I owe it to myself? A non-long-term-goal-setter like me typically shrugs this off. But I’m not getting any younger and I’d want to do this while I was still spry and full of energy. Should I be building a timeline/succession plan from my current job? How do the kids and college factor in? We’re so not in financial risk mode right now, but shit, I so want to pursue this in spite of myself.

Topic #2 was simple and straight forward:

Would you do a kitchen makeover?

As the discussion weaved in and out about cabinets, islands, subway tile and track lighting I found myself nodding out of that conversation and moving on to my own internal discussion. Is it possible to “redo” your garden?

My initial thought was “no”. While it is relatively easy to change cabinet doors, paint walls and switch out hardware, you cannot replace mature trees and shrubs. Beyond the physical labor, the prohibitive cost to buy new mature trees and shrubs make it a ridiculously expensive proposition. But what if I really wanted to attempt a garden makeover, albeit one on a smaller scale? Do I have enough time to start over? Do I have the time to actually install it?

From there, I allowed my mind to wander even further and after bypassing the idea of making over the garden, I started to do the math to determine how much longer I had with my current garden. The factors included:

• College – if we follow the standard four year plan, my son would graduate in 2024 and my daughter in 2028. That is roughly 12 years from now.

• Relocation – my wife and I dream of moving south to warmer weather and near the ocean. We’d wait until after the kids graduate from college at a minimum.
• Current jobs – when can we say goodbye or more likely, when will they show us the door? Could we keep our jobs upon relocating?

With all that in mind, I couldn’t get 12 years out of my head. Shit, only 12 more years. Do I need to take that into account when buying new trees and shrubs? Do I need to lay out a plan or gulp, start setting goals around the end game of my garden as I know it? For years I’ve tackled a bit at a time without any thought as to how it ties into a larger master plan. Is it time to change that mentality? Do I care what the next homeowners will do with my garden? What if they tear it all out?

I have dreamed of getting my garden to the point where it could be showcased as part of a public garden tour and I can’t imagine accomplishing that in the next 12 years. Should I develop a specific site plan in order to attempt this? Does it take away from the day to day enjoyment of my garden and does that impact what I write about here?

A lot of questions with precious few answers at this point.

To be continued …

QOTD: Do you have a long term vision/plan for your garden?