I just got back from another stakeout.

I kid you not, it all started innocently enough with me running around in my backyard trying to track down a Monarch butterfly. The best way to describe the scene would be to imagine a toddler chasing a seagull on the beach. A slight giggle, no chance in hell of ever catching it but still enjoying the thrill of the chase. Along the way, there is a lot of falling and running into things, maybe even a slight drool.

As I’m about to give up on the hunt, I hear a mysterious vehicle pull into the street. How do I know it is mysterious? When you live on a small street without only 3 houses inhabited, you learn the sound of everyone’s vehicle over time. This one was not one of those.

I quickly see that it is a white “company” vehicle and I’m on high alert. That is life these days with the threat of the PennEast pipeline. The company is attempting to survey potentially affected properties through all means shady since only 30% of NJ landowners have granted them access (Don’t mess with Jersey). Illegal trespassing, utilizing electric companies to survey for them, even fake bat studies (you read that correctly) are the norm.

We have “no trespassing” signs all over our property and will not hesitate to call the authorities if a surveyor shows up. We denied all access and have completed all of the necessary paperwork to ensure that holds true. I am also keeping an eye on neighboring properties to make sure there are no shenanigans.

So I set up camp at my favorite hideout (I’ve done this a few times before as you can tell) where I can see the entire road and take pictures if necessary.

If there is any sign of surveying/drilling, I will be on that shit like an animal. This is what you turn into when dealing with situations like this.

Turns out there is no foul play (for now) as the truck immediately departs. If there were any concerns, I’d have photos including their license plate. Yes, our new reality.

Part of being able to function on a daily basis is to make light of the situation. We’ve taken to blaming PennEast for everything. If the drier stops working, it’s PE’s fault. If there is a large collection of turkey vultures sitting on my roof plotting their next move, it is because of PE. If Shop Rite is out of white peaches, you guessed it, f’n PE. It gives us all a much needed laugh.

Another fun family activity is to run outside if we hear the sound of a plane/helicopter/drone. PE has been surveying from the air so we all know what to do if a low flying object appears.

Kids love having the OK to throw up the middle finger. They need to learn just how powerful it can be at the right time. I’m so proud of them.

We’ve even gone so far as to imagining a future where there is no pipeline and we create a restaurant that sits on the originally proposed path. Ask my wife, it’s true. I recently jumped out of the shower one morning and announced what one of our starters would be at the “The Pipeline Cafe”:

Eminent Romaine – we’ll decide when you are done with this delectable salad and we’ll decide what we want to charge you.

Sick, I know.

But in all seriousness, there has been an incredible push from the people to defeat this monster. Just last night I attended another meeting to further educate the public on how to get involved and most importantly, what to do next now that the pipeline company, PennEast, plans to submit their application this month.

Over the last year, amazing leaders have emerged from all over the affected townships and you would swear they all fight pipelines for a living.

No, not even close.

These are farmers, teachers, professionals, you name it, who have dedicated their time to energizing this fight and most importantly, keeping the people engaged. I am proud of it all and look forward to continuing the fight, how ever long that may be.

Who knows, part of my fight beyond red shouldered hawks, environmental concerns and proximity to my well just may be protecting the milkweed and those ever elusive Monarchs.