Resolutions are crap.
If I had to estimate how often New Year’s resolutions are actually followed I would put it at 3.19%. Or in other words, close to never.
To prove my hypothesis, I took a look back at my gardening resolutions posted on December 30th of this year (You can read the original post here). I think I actually convinced myself that I could accomplish each of these but as you’ll see, homie failed miserably.
Let’s run through each of them:
1)I vow to include my children more in the gardening process
Didn’t happen.
My daughter had her moments:
But we’re still held back by the fear of bees and I do question her work ethic. Everything she draws includes a picture of a flower, but she isn’t willing to put in the necessary hard labor to grow one herself. I’ll tell you, the kids today do not understand what hard work means. Yes, she is 5 but that is no excuse.
Chances my son joins me in the garden: 0.01%:
2)I will stay on top of the pruning, especially those perennials that require it for size control
Damn, I’m a failure:
Where does time go? I have carefully created a spreadsheet that indicates when each of my perennials should be cut back and I still fail to actually do it. Pathetic.
3)I will grow even more of my own food and do it in a sensible way
This was an epic failure even after I planned it all out over the winter and purchased a ton of seeds. I started sowing the seeds too late and couldn’t keep up with the thinning and necessary watering. Here’s the best I could offer:
Again, pathetic and embarrassing.
4)I will dig like a champ, put my body through complete torture and revel in the pain
You’ll notice there are no accompanying photos. That’s because I ain’t got jack shit to show you.
5)I will continue to incorporate more and more native plants
Finally, a bit of success! I added …
Score one for ONG!
6)I will admit defeat to the deer
I still tried to sneak daylillies, geraniums and irises by those f’ers and they forgot about them up until about two weeks ago. Not too bad, but now I’m afraid I’m back to thinking I can outsmart them so I’m stuck in this evil vortex once again:
7)I will do my best to stop and “smell the roses” more often
Funny that I used roses in this one as I couldn’t grow a rose successfully even if I dedicated my life to trying. Anyway, as the kids get older and are more involved with sports and other activities, I find that my gardening time continues to shrink. What little time is available becomes very task oriented and time to just chillax doesn’t exist.
If you are scoring at home, that is 1 out of 7. Not good. In baseball terms, I’m hitting .143; below the Mendoza line and a definite reason to be benched.
I know I’ll come up with new resolutions for 2012 but maybe I’ll keep them a bit more realistic this year. Yeah right, I’m sure I’ll fall right back into the same trap but at least it is worth the comedic relief to look back at my glorious failures.
John
Ha, I have found that in order to achieve a sense of accomplishment it is important to choose the right New Years resolutions, such as:
– this year I will grow weeds to glorious heights never before seen
– my garden shall be a beautiful buffet table to the critters
– rewarding garden work shall require 3 ibuprofen and a heating pad to recover from
These are New Years resolutions that produces results!
You may not have kept up with your New Year Resolutions (but who does) but I’m betting your garden looks absolutely lovely if these picures are anything to go by.
Well…you aren’t alone! I swore this year I would pre-stake or cut back the things that flopped last year…well…unfortunately I thought maybe this year they would behave and I didn’t…major floppage occured 🙁 BTW…where did you get Sorghastrum…I can’t find anyone around here that sells it, and none of usual mail-order places to either.
Ha! I’m with you. And I was just pep talking myself this morning, so I’ll share…one of the things that is so amazing about gardening: there is always next season.
I am in that flopping zone and will make myself ring those plants I need to have rather than walking on them. I will also defeat the rabbits and squirrels, but I am going to plant tulips this week, how stupid!!
Eileen
John, the fact that you had aspirations is a success unto itself. I think you should have shared the photos for #4.
As for your native plant additions– I would love to have an Amelanchier– there is one in the woods next to our lot and is very pretty in the spring.
As for having your kids more involved in the garden….finally got one daughter to recognize a Sycamore…I asked if she could also recognize a Beech (one we had talked about earlier in the year) and she said –no, I am a one trick pony. hahahah kids!!
I only grow roses that are prissy, I just don’t have time for that. Oh deer love roses, I’ve a friend that “shoots” buckshot toward the deer in her yard, it helps. I’ve read the best way to keep them away is play Rush Limbaugh 24/7 in the garden. hahahaha it would keep me out!
That you have garden resolutions at all is great!
Your native plants are stunners and I don’t see a whole lot of weeds surrounding them so you are doing better than I am!
Best of luck on the next years’ resolutions, I think we are pretty much right there with you!
Lol, Based on my own experience as a child, plus that of my friends, plus what I did with my niece and nephew… I think the best way to ENcourage kids to garden is to DISallow them to. Seriously, reverse psychology works. You have to make it seem all special and mysterious and Not For Kids. I had my nephew begging to mow my lawn for years before I let him do it and that boy still loves tomatoes! I thought I’d failed with my niece entirely until she hit her early 20s. 🙂
John, I’d have just about the same score. Some folks are lucky luring their kids into the garden. I was an easy lure-ee back in my childhood, so I assumed that my kids would be, too. Ha! Only one of our three finally got bitten by the bug – at age 24! So don’t beat yourself up about that one… and I suspect the other resolutions are equally unattainable. (Except maybe the deer one.) I agree with Indie; if you must make them, make your resolutions easy. Like: 1) I will enjoy my garden, despite its imperfections. 2) I will not having an imperfect garden stop me from trying, in my own way and my own time, to make my world a little greener.
I think what’s so attractive about gardening is that there is another cycle to try and do it right next season. I grew only four tomato plants for my family, and still didn’t use them enough. I let too many of them go bad to bugs (that, I couldn’t really help–stink bugs were the plague), and laziness (it started getting to chilly in the mornings and mosquitos were too bad in the evenings). I let the okra get too big, but those suckers grow like nobody’s business!
I think you accomplish a great deal in your garden and have nothing to regret, actually. It’s a gorgeous garden with seemingly endless variety. Kudos! Besides, there’s always next season. 🙂
Alaiyo
Hmmm, here’s what should have been on your resolution list: 1) take fantastic garden pics 2) score a gig doing what I love..i.e. writing about gardening 3) hang out with my kids 4) grow lettuce. See, there you’re batting 100% 🙂 Cheers, Jenni
So funny, John! I fail each year too…but you have prettier pictures to show for it all..ha!
John, you are hilarious!
I bet those greens got bigger and were very good!
Jenni above has good advice.
When my daughter was very young, she didn’t like dirt. I thought Oh no! But now she is grown and loves gardening. So see, you just never know.
That was great – kept my interest the whole time. I first thought when I saw your title – that you were an obsessive gardener – I thought i need one of those as my friends. But as I got reading you were much more then that.
Hey when the kids get homes of their own – then they will WORK in the garden. Til then don’t put them in your resolutions.
I am your newest follower.
sincerely, sandie
John, you are a funny, but honest man. I have a garden in the back and front of my house. We live next to the woods and have visitors on a regular basis from the woods. Skunks, racoons, deer, woodchucks, etc. visiting our gardens on a regular basis. The deer think that our garden is a buffet that we prepared for them. The rest of the animals I believe are passing the word to others to stop by the Thurmer garden restaurant. We don’t eat a lot from our garden, but we have happy critters. Thanks for stopping by my blog. Have a God filled day! August Thurmer
fantastic native plants…real gardeners make lists and spreadsheets(?) and then go out and do their best…I enjoy your humor and your hard work John!
Indie – I like those resolutions, guarantee I can deliver on the growing of weeds, I’m stellar at it.
Ellie – thank you for the kind words! Some things worked out OK, still a long way to go.
Scott – I really need to get better at staking and I WILL do it next year. I bought the Sorghastrum through Bluestone Perennials.
Laura – next season, I’m already on to that and dreaming up unattainable ideas! Woo hoo!
Gatsby – nice to know someone else is in the same boat with floppage and fighting the critters!
Janet – even if the kids don’t come around, that’s OK, I enjoy the solitude of being by myself outside.
Bakingbarb – you may be on to something with playing Limbaugh, no creature can handle that!
Monica – reverse psychology works so well with the kids in all ways so extending it to the garden is a no brainer.
Helen – truth is I had no interest in the garden until I bought my first home so I will have to remain patient.
Alaiyo – you are dead on! Each year is a new start … then again I’m sure I’ll repeat my same mistakes but will have fun trying.
Jenni – you gave me an idea. I need to actually create my resolutions after the fact to meet what I actually accomplished. Nice!
Donna – failing in gardening is still a hell of a lot of fun!
Splendid – thanks for stopping by! I will do my best to remain patient with the kids, I hope.
Chatty – happy to see a new follower! Maybe I’ll pay the kids for their hard labor, hmmmm.
August – welcome and thanks for stopping by. The critters can be fun and such a nuisance at the same time.