We recently hosted my in-laws at our home and had a few great days together. The weather was perfect (sunny and low 70’s) so we sampled the local parks, ate like mad, enjoyed some beverages and just “chillaxed”, as the kids like to say. I’ll include some of these photos in a future post, but for today, I wanted to share one specific experience with you.
On Saturday morning, my mother-in-law asked me “Can you give us a tour of your gardens?” Innocent enough request, right? Um, no! No one ever asked me to actually bring them up close and personal with my plant collections.
Sure, some of my friends and family have limited interest in my “landscaping” passion but they never actually want to touch the plants or get to know the names. Could I present my gardens in an interesting way? Do I know the common names of the plants so it doesn’t sound like a lesson in Latin? Are the gardens even worthy of a visit? Answers: No, No and No.
Some day, I envision garden tours at my home that are majestic and life changing. I’m talking t-shirt vendors, scalpers and wine tastings. I want buses to pull up and I want to hand each camera toting tourist a map so they can navigate the grounds. Well, that is my romantic notion at least.
At this point in time, however, I am lacking skills. I almost put myself to sleep. And I couldn’t have sounded more snobby using only the Latin names for the plants since those are the only names I actually know (in my defense, I still find this the easiest way to know what plants I’m actually dealing with). I also climbed into the fetal position a few times when spotting weeds the size of small children.
Here’s a sampling of the cringe worthy tour:
I wisely started the tour where there were some actual blooms and a bunch of buds. Below is a Campanula that I so deftly called “Um, something ending with ‘bells’.”
I tried to sell how the green shade of this Chasmanthium … I mean Northern Sea Oats… really stood out. Even I wasn’t buying it.
I kid you not, I used the term “dainty” describing the foliage on this Astilbe. I still hate myself two days later.
I truly love boxwoods but I really need to better prepare and identify why. “Because the deer ignore them” and “they’re evergreen” doesn’t inspire all that much.
I’m still trying to determine if “delicate” foliage sounds worse than “dainty” but more importantly, is a geranium’s foliage really “delicate”? I need to consult my thesaurus a bit more.
I was proud of the fact that I could recall that Monarda (the Bee Balm name escaped me at the time) belongs to the mint family, but I spent way too much time all excited about this tiny mound of growth.
OK, I managed a “strapping foliage” when describing these irises. I was proud of that one but when I went into my contrasting foliage speech, it would have been nice to have these actually next to some contrasting foliage. And maybe not have them surrounded by weeds.
Admittedly, I purchased this ‘Alabama Sunset’ coleus an hour before the guests arrived, which is OK, but removing the tag would have been a nice touch.
I really need to come up with something I can successfully grow underneath all of my river birch trees.
Home boy threw out a great nugget letting my guests know this Hakonechloa was Perennial Plant of the year two years ago. I also shared how it lights up a shaded area and I have mine in a container so I could meet it’s good drainage requirement. Maybe there is hope yet?
I called this an “ice plant” trying to keep it real with the common name and no lie, my mother in law correctly stated it was Candytuft. I pretended like I never heard her.
As painful as the tour may have been, I am determined to get it right in the future. It will take a lot of work, but I’ve got the dream already played out in my head.
Time to get to work on it.
John
John, this is a marvellously honest post, and I reckon all of us have had experiences like it, or we’re lying! In Australia, there’s been a wonderful song called ‘From Little Things, Big Things Grow’…no-one in life has all the answers, and even the most aged of gardeners is still learning. You made me laugh with recognition…thanks.
Dainty? DAINTY?? What kind of a man are you, John? Ha.
I admire you, though—you’ve got some great plants. I can’t wait for the bus tours and wine tastings.
I think you did a pretty good job. When I take family around the gardens, I spend so much time worrying that they are bored, that we just go too fast. I never get out the names at all! A few friends that are interested get a slower tour, but they like to impress me by knowing the names already! I too, have dreams of tours with buses. Will we ever be ready for that big day?
This was an amusing post (in a fun way). If my “garden” looked as great as yours, my chin would be so high. I think your plants look great!
Let me know when the bus tour is scheduled so that I can get my tickets in advance. I will say “I knew him when he had weeds” lol.
Maybe I will snap some shots of my river birch tree’s, then you will feel great about yours. My personal opinion is that my weeds just add character.
Looking forward to more post about your garden, have a great week!
Well go with the Latin… I hardly know any names Latin or other… they are the green things that make my dirt look good! Beautiful Garden and Plants…whatever they are called! (THat is my goal this year…just to learn the names!)
Great post! Dainty? C’mon, even I don’t say dainty…hee!
Kind of reminds me of friends from my wild youth visiting and me desperately trying to make birding sound hardcore. Gulp.
Nice post, but don’t strive too hard for perfection, its the little quirks in a garden that make it all the more interesting!
A very enjoyable post here! I would love to be on one of your tours now or later.
John, You crack me up with your descriptions and I truly mean that in a very nice way. I would tour your garden with joy. You have so many plants standing tall already, I’m jealous. Spring is promising to come…..sometime.
BlessYourHeart
Did she stay with you for the whole tour? Then it was a good tour!
My garden’s on tour this Sunday, so this is timely for me. I try to” introduce” plants with common names, then include botanical names. It depends on the interest and knowledge of my guests. Doing Q&A helps me tailor what would otherwise be a monologue to their interests.
Everything looks so lush and green… beautiful!
Great post…your garden is so pretty that I wouldn’t worry about giving a tour…just have them go out there and enjoy it!
hahahaha…yes, sometimes it’s difficult for us to verbalize our passion for plants. I gave a small (very small) tour to a fellow gardener the other day. Amazingly, I breezed past most everything. When I’m out alone, I think I see what’s growing, how much progress everything is making…and I get so much joy out of little things. When someone else is there, I end up feeling woefully inadequate 🙁
John, great job. We do get bus tours here (why I don’t know, I think they just like to look at two crazy rock people). I absolutely hate myself when I have a herd of people asking me questions about what I’ve got growing and I draw a blank. Uh, it’s a, a… plant…
I would love to be on a bus tour of your garden, you know exactly what you’ve planted. Lucky visitors!
Beautiful yard/garden but I say listen to the Mom-in-law.
There is nothing uppity about using only Latin names for plants. In English speaking countries, all around the world, the common names for perennials vary from one locale to another. Relying on Latin ensures that there can be no mistake which plant you are writing about, regardless where your readers live.
By the way, I hope you plan to serve cheese during wine tasting!
I’m more of the other way. I have no idea about latin names but I can tell you the common ones! My mom used to come over and say “let’s go for a tour”. It’s kind of fun 🙂
Actually, your garden looks lovely. Latin names or not your mother-in-law should be impressed with your design.
Eileen
Wow. I haven’t heard the word “dainty” in a long time, and even then it was referring to teacups or something. I’m sure you’ll come up with something different the next time you give a tour. 😉
Ah, but some day the buses will pull up and you will be selling tickets, and wishing all those critical tourists would leave your dainty plants alone.
I too have conducted the painful and embarrassing tour of my still developing gardens. It always starts with “you should have been here last week”, or “it really will look so good next week”.
Dear ONG-
We now have your m-in-l here in the more temperate zone in VA. Our Iris are blooming and the knockout roses are blooming near the pool. Do you have zone envy again. Love, A
I can’t imagine having to give a tour. Sometimes I think having a garden blog is a bit of a ruse as I’m sure if anyone actually came to see my ‘garden’ they’d wonder what the heck garden I was talking about. You mean that unmowed lawn? is that a garden?! You have actually plants, with names. I’d say you did pretty darn good.